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Courage or Comfort
Note: This post was originally written in July of 2019. I write this post at a very particular moment in time. The leaders in positions of power in my country are perpetuating hate in ways I could not have imagined three short years ago. It is a time of both reckoning and rumble, a time… Keep Reading
18 Years and Zero Days
It’s a funny thing that happens when your first child turns 18. He’s not much different than he was when he was 17 and 364 days, but the flip of the page to 18 and zero days is definitely something new. It’s a marker, arbitrary as it may be, that says, “It’s time.” It’s time… Keep Reading
My Two (or Five) Cents
So many of us are so tired this time of year. The tape plays, “I’m so tired…I’m so tired of being tired…I’m so tired of not making any progress…I’m so tired of this sh%#ty system…” and it goes on. And on. It can wear on anyone, most especially someone in charge of the care and… Keep Reading
Serving One Another, Serving our Students
A note to a teacher I coach. A note to all of us. #theteachertribe Hey Love. Hold space for them to share their worries. Reassure them that they are safe with you. That you love them. That everyone you know loves them and they are safe with them too. Hillary Clinton won the popular vote… Keep Reading
Today, We Work.
Friends, yesterday we held space. Today, we work. I got an email from a teacher I used to coach who works in the south. His class is about a 50/50 split in which presidential candidate they and their families supported. The pro-DT half told him they are not racist or sexist and they hate that… Keep Reading
I Have A Confession to Make.
I’m an unabashed hater of DT and make no apologies for it. And, I now recognize and admit freely, I have judged those who support him. And judged them deeply, without regard for why they may be buying the “outsider” line, why they tolerate, repeatedly, the ugliness of this man and how he walks in… Keep Reading
Love.
(Update: in 2020 we made an intentional change to the name of the group discussed in this post. Story on that coming up soon) I started the hashtag #theteachertribe and, soon after, the Facebook group because it felt right. One of those things you do because you can’t not do it. So I did. Then last… Keep Reading
International Women’s Day
My heart feels so full today. I had a great weekend spent with teacher colleagues on Friday and my colleagues in life, my sons, on Saturday. Last night I was so deeply moved by the photos and speeches coming out of the 50th anniversary of the march to Selma, a time so symbolic of how… Keep Reading
You Belong
You belong among the Wildflowers You belong somewhere close to me Far away from your trouble and worry You belong somewhere you feel free You belong somewhere you feel free Tom Petty, “Wildflowers” Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and there’s no greater gift for your Valentine than the liberation from “fine.” And by “your Valentine,” I… Keep Reading
My Guy
I write often in Facebook posts and blog stories about my younger son. He’s a sweet and affection boy who is prone to dramatics; accordingly, there’s a funny story waiting to be written almost each and every day. My older son, though, is different. Maybe because he’s older. Maybe because as he enters his tween… Keep Reading
Word of the Day
My first thought as I wake up these days is “What’s the word of the day, God?” It’s been an interesting practice because I often get words I didn’t anticipate but, as the day wears on, turn out to be just right. Quiet. Patience. Presence. On this gorgeous fall day I woke up in the… Keep Reading
Marriage
This past summer my family and I traveled to the countryside of France for my brother’s wedding. He and his bride gave me the honor of not only walking my beautiful niece down the aisle, but also of speaking to what I know of marriage. My hard-earned wisdom on the subject came as the following…. Keep Reading
The Curve Ball
I’ve made it clear to the universe and my family and friends that this will be my last year teaching in a traditional classroom in a traditional high school. Something else awaits and, while I know not yet what it is, I know that something exists. Something that does not deplete this introvert’s energy so… Keep Reading
A Conversation with My 8-Year Old
Hey, Mom, did you know we have another teacher? Another teacher? Yeah, a math teacher. He comes in once a week. He came last year too. Really? What for? To teach math, duh. Easy Attitude Guy. Right, sorry. (hands up, palms facing me, eyebrows up as if to say, “Whoa, chill, I got it”) To… Keep Reading
Traveling Tuesdays Part VI: No Cameras Allowed
Today we went to the beautiful d’Orsay Musee. On this, our last day of our European adventure, 23 days of foreign country madness with all of its high highs and low lows, we finally figured out the best way to start the day. Get there before it opens. And we learned that on accident, frankly, because… Keep Reading
Traveling Tuesdays Part V: Mind the Gap
(Author’s Note: I’ve since rediscovered where I got the idea for “Mind the Gap.” It’s from Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly, Chapter 5. If you don’t yet have that book, I highly recommend it!) Paris and Rome are very different places. Both cool in their own way, both fashionable in their own way, both beautiful in… Keep Reading
Traveling Tuesday Part IV: Strangers and the Mediterranean Sea
We actually made it to the Mediterranean?! Let me return to the beginning of the day. When I get excited, sometimes I get ahead of myself. Today we decided to hit the tourist spots early, both for the sake of avoiding the heat and the crowds. While neither was possible, we certainly were in better… Keep Reading
Traveling Tuesdays Part III: Finally a Holy (and Happy) Day
We didn’t sleep well last night, which actually lead to a bit of sweetness between my eldest boy and me. Tom was playing musical beds following Craig around last night and at some point my bed ended up empty when Jackson wandered in not being able so sleep himself. It seems to be the 230am… Keep Reading
Traveling Tuesdays, Part II: Today Sucked
After getting barfed on yesterday, not to mention the complete washout we experienced on the bus, I thought today would look up. Apparently, not so much. Rome in July is hot–wicked hot. Now when I say hot, I’m not sure you understand just how hot. Today was 93 degrees. If that’s not enough to convince… Keep Reading
Traveling Tuesdays, Part I: Barf and Bus Washout
My family and I just got back from almost a month away from home. I’m an unabashed homebody so it’s fair to say this was the trip of a lifetime for me. A friend encouraged me to consider this differently, as to not imply it will be the only one. Still jet-lagged and struggling to… Keep Reading
Fourth Thankful Thursday
Summer is here, the time of year we crave until it comes and we quickly remember it’s often more work than the school year itself. Nevertheless, there are so many glories to behold. Mornings are bright, beautiful, and early, the produce at the farmer’s market plentiful and gorgeous, and the late morning breakfasts at the… Keep Reading
Third Thankful Thursday
As of tomorrow, school’s out and summer’s in. For teachers, this is what we call New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow the floors will get swept and the cats will get brushed and the produce will get washed and put away. Next we’ll clean our classrooms and pack up all the work we’ll take home with us… Keep Reading
Second Thankful Thursday
This week brings us closer to the end of school and the beginning of summer. We’re so close, it’s almost as if we’re unable to sit still. We run off to school dances, we draw our way through mixed emotions, and we pause to ponder the gift of being present in the every day.
First Thankful Thursday
I am thankful for many, many things and found it not the least bit challenging to find things for which to be grateful after deciding I wanted to create this series of posts. Only I did have to stop traffic to photograph Mama Duck and her adolescent babies and then again later the same day… Keep Reading
Possibility
Certainty is a part of my DNA, the perfect mix of a childhood nurturing and God-given nature, both relishing the known, the concrete, the for certain. I love it so much that I seek it out whenever possible, always choosing what has specifics I can get my head around, good or bad, versus what is… Keep Reading
Honoring My Gift
I haven’t written in months. I haven’t walked in months either, in large part because when I walk the words come and in order to keep the words at bay I can’t walk. I don’t have time to write, I’m busy in an (ass-kicking) job. I have two kids. I have a husband and 9… Keep Reading
Ride Baby
Conventional wisdom now says you need 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. I’m an expert teacher. I’m almost an intermediate writer. A bike rider? Pure novice, baby. My hours on a bike reach about 16. Not 16 this year. Not 16 as an adult. Just 16. Total. I got my first bike when… Keep Reading
The Power of Rest
One of the things on my to do list this morning is to sign my son up for karate. He’s been waiting for months and the time has finally arrived. Hovering over my shoulder as I pulled up the website, the questions came fast and furious. “What color will my belt be, Mommy?” “When’s the… Keep Reading
Genetic Code
I love my dog. I just hate my dog’s barking. He’s a working dog of some kind, likely generations back he was bred to herd things; trouble is, we live in the suburbs and there is nothing of use for him to herd here. Unable to break the genetic bond to his ancestors, however, he… Keep Reading
Worthy of a Pass
Every year I have the great privilege of spending a long weekend in the majestic Yosemite with nine of my nearest and dearest personal mentors. We started out as professional colleagues almost 15 years ago when this annual retreat began; over the years we’ve evolved into a safety net of strength and courage and laughter… Keep Reading
The White Glove
“Get up!” I holler to (or, I should say, at) my kids. “WHY?” they retort. “Nona and Great-Gramie are going to be here this morning and I need your help getting this house cleaned. Why is it that we can’t keep it clean for more than an hour? I swear, as fast as I… Keep Reading
Full Circle
It’s Sunday. In the Lusiani-Elliott house that means it’s cooking day. Every Sunday I cook a traditional Italian meal in hopes my children, as 4th generation Italian-Americans, can stay connected at least in part to the culture that is so important to me. Maybe one day it will be equally important to them. For now,… Keep Reading
So I’m Not Alone?
I recently came across this hilarious and oh-so-true take on the 5 Stages of Death and Dying, only in this case, it’s the 5 Stages of Grading. I don’t know one teacher who adores the drudgery of grading; in fact when I ask teachers what they like least, “Grading” is often the answer (along with… Keep Reading
Dresser Drawers
When I get frustrated with the mess of my house, I organize my sons’ dresser drawers. Why don’t I clean out my own drawers? Why don’t I even just start with last night’s dinner dishes? Why? Because it’s easier to clean up someone else’s mess than it is my own. It’s easier to fuss and… Keep Reading
Be Sure to Ask the Right People
Across the country, education reform is the big buzz these days. Adults gather together to figure out just what is happening to our nation’s schools and work diligently to create changes that will infuse our school system with opportunities for achievement. The problem is, very few of these adults actually work in schools. Further, none… Keep Reading
It’s Possible
At a particularly low point a few years back my husband gave me a book called The Power of the Possible. I hadn’t said that I wanted it; in fact I hadn’t said I wanted anything. In the knowingness of two people who share a home and a family, however, he knew. He didn’t… Keep Reading
The Miracle of the 3-Hole Punch
In the copy room this morning, a miracle happened. Someone had come in during the dark of night and lubricated the 3-Hole Punch. You mean to tell me I can hole punch 20 papers at a time and they lift right out? Without pleading? Without banging it against the table? Hallelujah and Amen because this… Keep Reading
Learn or I Will Hurt You
This threat of learning “or else” is a ridiculous notion. Yet I wonder if that’s what schools do to kids every day. I’ve been guilty of this punishment dance myself (do your homework or I will make you stay into your break) and I do it because it works. But does it really? When kids… Keep Reading
We’re a Part of a Village
…and it sure feels good when parents recognize it. A Love Letter to Our Children’s Teachers
The Hidden Success in the MORE Failure
As far as failures go, I just don’t do them. Not that I don’t ever fail, but I generally bail out before I do. I’m one of those people who would rather not try than to try and not succeed—pretty much a failure in and of itself, but at least one I don’t have to… Keep Reading
Teacher as Artist
I have been a teacher for fourteen years; it never ceases to amaze me that I continue to learn more about the job all the time. Tonight, for example, I found myself seeing my work in a whole new perspective: teacher as artist. In the fifth grade I had two teachers: Mrs. Sherman and Mrs…. Keep Reading
Living and Learning Butts Up
While I don’t think the good old days were all that “good,” I do think there is something to be learned from them. Our kids today have everything, and yet they often are missing a major component essential to life: joy. I remember when I was six my grandma had a car with an 8-track… Keep Reading
Sometimes It’s Just Damn Hard
I’ve been teaching a long time; for the first time I’m in a position to say that, in my heart of hearts, I don’t like my job. The joy of teaching isn’t there for me anymore and that joy is exactly what kept me going when less joyful aspects of this work inevitably reared their… Keep Reading
5 Critical Lessons
In my years of teaching, I have learned five critical lessons. Be certain of one thing, if you are open and willing to see them, lessons exist in every moment of every day. These five, however, seem to be universal to every school, content, and grade level I’ve ever taught. We all have to learn our… Keep Reading
Boundaries
I started teaching when I was 22 years old. As if that wasn’t enough, I taught at the school from where I had graduated five years prior. On top of that I had run out of money to finish my credential program and hadn’t even done my student teaching yet. We spun this first year… Keep Reading
The Power of Yes
Much of my life I have said yes. This was both because I enjoy others and the opportunities they bring into my life and also because I want them to be happy because seeing them that way makes me feel happy too. I said yes too often, compromising more than my fair share of desires…. Keep Reading
You Asked for It
I got an email from a retired colleague of mine today that had me doubled over with laughter. It was titled “Why Teachers Drink” and I have to say I could relate on many levels. If I was technolgically crafty, I’d have the images cut and pasted here for your amusement. Sadly, you’ll just have… Keep Reading
Where to Start? Try the Beginning.
I have ideas for five books, three magazine columns, two websites, a workshop series, and a partridge in a pear tree. Not really on the partridge; but the rest? All the truth. More to the point, I’ve started each and every one of these projects. How many of them have I finished is the important… Keep Reading
Practicing Presence
I attended a funeral mass today for a woman I worked with for the last seven years. Her name was Paula, and she was a delight. Warm, smiley eyes and always a kind word, Paula’s death seems a textbook example of the “good die young” cliché. She was 45 years old and her death leaves… Keep Reading
Mastering the Art of Growing Up
I had a rare night at home tonight, alone. I don’t honestly know if I’ve ever been in this house alone at night before. I’m thinking not. Eight years we’ve lived here and not one single night here, in my home, alone. My boys are out with my husband at their Godparents’ annual Christmas party…. Keep Reading
Has it Really Been 20 Years?
I attended my 20-year high school reunion last weekend; as a good friend said, it really was more like a family reunion than anything else—a tribute to the special kind of group we were, a group we still are. I never doubted the fact that I wanted to attend this reunion; high school was an… Keep Reading
Fixing Schools from the Ground Up
I am a part-time high school teacher who should be going home right now to pick my own kids from school; trouble is, the school where I work is on lockdown because of a potentially violent police chase in the neighborhood. Given this fact, I have an unusual chunk of time to reflect on my… Keep Reading
Thank You
It was any normal Sunday afternoon at the zoo: the sun shone brilliantly, the birds chirped relentlessly, and the animals basked in the glory of people’s admiration. Usually my husband and sons and I go on our own, but this time we had the boys’ Godparents and their two children with us—an unusual occurrence given… Keep Reading
Receive and Release
I’ve spent the last two years focusing on releasing, surrendering, and letting go of fear, expectations, putting other’s feelings before my own–all the normal things the average person with a healthy dose of anxiety and a well-honed type A personality carries in life. My goal in my pushing-40 time-of-life is to put all of that… Keep Reading
Deal Changer
You know when you have a pair of jeans you love and wear all the time, but one day they just don’t fit quite right? You keep wearing them because, after all, they are your favorite pair; however, every week that goes by they feel more and more strange. One day you pull on those… Keep Reading
Ignoring My Way to Peace
In my high school psychology class I teach my students about a game almost all of us play called, “See What You Made Me Do?” It goes like this: you do something I hate, I shout at you, you ask me why I’m shouting and I respond with the all-encompassing and oft-used, “Because you make… Keep Reading
“That Mother”
You know the one: pulling her hair out stressed, yelling at her children as they climb the shelves and pull down fruit in a way that makes it all come tumbling down. The one who lectures them in the car all they way home; the one who sends them to their room until “their father… Keep Reading
The Ethic of Care
“Is it a law that I can’t hit my brother?” my son asks. “No, of course not,” I answered, “but in our family we take care of each other, we don’t hurt each other.” “But, I won’t go to jail, right? I’ll just go on time out?” he prods. “No, you won’t go to jail…. Keep Reading
“My liberation as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman.”
I am deeply tied to my work as a Woman’s Studies teacher for many reasons, most of which center on the fact I empower my students by helping them find a more full and authentic sense of themselves. While I know I educate the handful of young men in my room every year about how… Keep Reading
A Lesson Learned in Raising Boys by Teaching Women’s Studies
I am exceptionally fortunate to not only work in a profession I love with kids I adore, but also to work with easily some of the most amazing people on earth. One of them was Dana Rosenberg, a powerful figure on our campus for her high standards of teaching and also for living. This was… Keep Reading